Green Glowing Things

May 31, 2010

I gasped and pointed at a green glow. And then it was gone. The black water seemed to giggle in response to my surprise at the glow's disappearance. Someone else yelled. Pointed. Gasped. And it was gone. Again. Soon it became a game of hide and seek. The glowing, green globs hid in the dark Caribbean waters and we looked. We searched.

As we climbed into the boats that night, the stars illuminated the sky, reflecting on the quiet sea. The black waters gently lapped at the side of the boat. We climbed in, silent except for the occasional gasp. "What are those?" we asked one another. Finally, the boat driver explained.

These magical, graceful, glowing, ever-dancing green globs in the water were particles that had been charged by the sunlight during the day. At night, they simply glowed. They danced. They floated. They chased. They played. They hid. They giggled. I was completely awed by these mysterious green globs.

We drove to the Islote and I let my fingers dip into the water, leaving a green wake. I looked up and the stars twinkled down at me; I looked down and the globs glowed. The beauty was overwhelming. I found it hard to say anything, save an occasional "Wow," or, "Look!"

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Today I was asked by my friend Antho, "When was the last time you stood in awe of God? Like do nothing else, but just think of the greatness of our God?"

My thoughts drifted to my run on the beach last night into the sunset. I thought of the unrelenting pound of the waves on the sea shore and the bright orange moon shining down. I thought of the wind blowing through my hair and tasting salt water on my lips.

"Last night," I replied. But my thoughts didn't stop there. They continued to wander... and flow... and think about other God moments. Climbing a huge rock over Christmas break and sitting hundreds of feet in the air, looking over an enormous lake. A worship service I had been at work I was just flooded by God's love... his affection for me-- for humanity. And my tears wouldn't stop. I thought of the red Amazonian sun set, of the African singers around the campfire.

And then, then I thought about the green globs.

Antho then interrupted my flowing thoughts, "And how do these moments help you in your every day life?"

And then I was back to wandering thoughts. My journey through deserts. The days I wake up and don't feel God. When I struggled to find passion or motivation to seek God. When seeking him is hard. When I'm weighed down by the mundane. When I've allowed the cares of this life to crowd out his glory. When I've allowed myself to lose awe at his majesty.

"These moments," I replied, "remind me that he is worth it, real, near and powerful."

Antho continued, "Do you think most people just stand in awe of who God is?"

"No," I stated, "but I don't either." I thought about it. Its like God smacks me in the face with his majesty and knocks me to my knees. I really wish I went out and did it periodically. Just went and let myself be awed by who God is. But I don't. I wait to be smacked. And then... then it hits me.

But then again... its about the small things in life, isn't it? Our ability to be amazed by the little things. A sunset. A bright, orange moon. A laughing child. A beautiful voice. A friend's hug. A gentle whisper. The rustle of wind. The sound of an ocean. The smell of summer. A green, glowing thing.

And I was back to thinking about the green glowing things.

Two Months

"The cure for anything is saltwater: tears, sweat or the sea." -Isak Dinesen

I've always loved the oceans. The endless stretch of beaches. The repeated lull of the waves hitting the sand. The wind. The endless blue. I love it-- I love it all.

Spring Break 2011. Pensacola, Florida.

I've had a marvelous time relaxing with my grandparents this week. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous. Sunshine actually warms my skin again and its FABULOUS. I've taken naps when I'm tired and gone running when I'm energetic. I've played card games and finished applications. I've taken long walks on the beach and had long phone conversations.

And as the week slowly creeps to a close, I'm partially dreading going back to school. Though I know the next eight weeks will fly by, I'm already recoiling at the routine I know I will inevitably sink back into. And then... then it will be over. My freshman year of university.

Finished.

Has it really been ten months since graduation? Why does that number seem too small and at the same time, too large? At times I felt that it was only yesterday and at other times, I wonder why it seems so long ago. In less than three months I'll be sitting at an ECA graduation once again. This time, it won't be me. I'll watch some of my closest friends walk down the aisle, dressed in their caps and gowns. And in the blink of an eye, they too, will be alumni.

Time really does fly dreadfully fast. And yet, it creeps by... day by day.

Two months. Two months before summer. Two months before Colombia :) Two months until the end of this chapter that seems to have only begun yesterday.

Cut and Paste

Half way through second semester. It feels extremely unreal-- as if I just left Colombia a couple of weeks ago. But no, eight weeks later and I'm wondering where the semester went.

This post will be fairly scattered, attempting to give a snapshot of various aspects of my life =). Think of it as cutting parts of my life apart and then pasting them all together in one blog post.

Life in America is still, well you know, life in America. I've definitely had highs and lows; I've watched my heart change and break and grow. In January I was really struggling with the fact that I was back in America-- my heart longed to be in Colombia, working with my hands and loving those who are visibly poor. February reminded me of all the ministry opportunities here: the poor in spirit. And now, now its March. God is moving and my heart skips a beat when I get a glimpse of his Spirit transforming lives.

I've been in limbo-land when it comes to Christian ministries on campus. Last semester I was involved with Cru, but for a variety of reasons I decided to look for another fellowship. After several weeks of traveling around, I've narrowed down my choice to the Navigators and InterVarsity. I've enjoyed both tremendously and have seriously been challenged in my faith through friendships I've developed there. My goal was to choose a ministry by the end of February, but that didn't happen. So maybe by the end of March?

 

Over spring break I'll be flying down to Florida to spend a week with my grandparents. I'm looking forward to this time with them, because I haven't seen them for a couple of months and rarely get more than a weekend with them when I do see them.

Summer 2011 is approaching and am I ever ready!

I'll be flying down to Colombia before the 20th of May and hope to be there until late August. I'm looking for jobs or internship opportunities with various ministries in Colombia.

Yesterday I found out that two of my friends, Deepika and Carina, will be coming to Colombia for a month this summer. Besides shrieking and giggling like crazy, I could not wipe the stupid smile off my face for a couple of hours. I'm so excited to spend this time with them and Natis in Colombia this summer.

Tyler will be coming down in July for a week or two. It will be amazing to have her see that entire sphere of my life that is so foreign to her. Chrissy will be coming if she gets a certain job in the next couple of weeks. Karissa (another good friend) might be coming as well.

Hahahaha. Needless to say, it will be quite the summer of visitors, but I am incredibly excited.

Unofficial

"No, no. The owner of all the bars in Champaign started it-- so he wouldn't lose business over St. Patrick's Day," Tyler clarified the facts for me.

I just sat there, trying to imagine such a grotesque holiday: Unofficial St. Patrick's Day, pride of the University of Illinois. So, the facts are these: In 1996, bar owner Scott Cochrane, created this holiday to increase his profit. St. Patrick's Day normally falls over the university's spring break, so bars are hurt when students go home. By creating a new "holiday," bars were gaining as much money as possible. I've heard that the campus population doubles, due to a terrible migration of college students coming to U of I. In past years, bars opened as early as 7:00 am and heavy drinking continued through the entire weekend. In 2007 police fines during this weekend totaled $44,000. In 2006, a graduate student fell off a moving motorcycle and died.

I must say, this entire week as been leading up to Unofficial weekend. In every class I hear murmurs and excited whispers about how this weekend is one where they can get "smashed" and "wasted." I am disgusted and saddened at the same time. Disgusted at the bar owners, encouraging drunkenness so that they could make more money. And extremely saddened to see the profound emptiness surrounding me. My classmates and some friends are desperately empty, seeking fulfillment and momentary pleasure over the weekend. It hurts to think about how many will suffer from alcohol poisoning, rape, battery, etc.

The Christian organizations on campuses in the past have held 24 hour prayer rooms so that Christians could come together and lift this campus up to Jesus. Others have hosted water tables, attempting to prevent dehydration and share the love of Jesus to those in drunken stupor.

Be lifting up this campus in your prayers this weekend. May some hit rock bottom and turn to Jesus. May God in his mercy forgive the flood of sins soaking this campus. May Christians be emboldened to take a stand and love others courageously, whether than includes handing out water, holding back hair while comforting those throwing up, or simply sharing the Gospel.