Hugging Students?

"What's your name," she loudly whispered across the carpet. I smiled, "Miss Viviana. Pay attention to Miss Lowe!" I was attempting to help maintain order during second grade library time with Miss Lowe. It generally doesn't go so well. Today wasn't an exception to the norm. I sat on a corner of the library rug and had three girls leaning against me. I wasn't sure if Miss Lowe was okay with them leaning on me, but I figured if they were quiet, she wouldn't mind too much.

Meanwhile, other kids were crawling around, giggling, yelling and jumping up and down. I couldn't wrap my head around the chaos. Why did it always feel so chaotic during library time?

I found myself calling kids names and putting my finger to my lips constantly. Those who sat around me quieted down fairly quickly, but it was hard to keep them sitting still. They usually got bored of the book or the lesson and would stand up and start jumping around.

As the young girls leaned on me, it occurred to me that they weren't so different from my precious Recycler's kids in Colombia. Here at Booker T. Washington, 93% of the kids live below the poverty level. Virtually all of them have free lunches and most have free breakfasts as well. One girl was showing off her "new" shoes to me... given to her by a ministry that gives clothes away to impoverished families. The way the girls leaned into me and rubbed my legs, I knew that they craved that healthy physical touch as well. Many lack affection and don't have stable homes to come home to every day.

I just wanted to pick them all up and give them huge hugs. Several of them tried climbing into my lap, but I was slightly uneasy... I figured that here, in the USA, in a school... I wouldn't be allowed to hug and hold kids in my lap.

However, later, one girl ended up bawling and she ran out of the library. I followed her and found her crumpled on the floor. I said her name and gently told her to come toward me. She came near and when she felt my arms were willing to hug her, she released and sobbed into my lap. I just held her and tried figuring out the "right" way to handle this. Eventually we talked through it and figured out what was going on and she was able to rejoin the group.

I love my kids so much and I just want to give them all hugs. I want to play games with them. I want to color with them and cuddle them when they cry. I want to let them play with my hair and I want to help them understand their math homework. Gah. I really love them, but I'm trying to figure out how to connect with them at a deeper level within a school setting.