Desire

My heart catches in my throat and tears fill my eyes. This is beautiful.

Tyler informed me that she had found my life story online and she sent me the link. I opened it and couldn't stop reading this blog. Kisses from Katie. You can read it here. Katie's 22. She's lived in Uganda since graduating from high school. Since then she's adopted 14 girls and runs an NGO that supports over 400 orphans. It was so beautiful.

I kept reading while tears streamed down my face. The usual questions flooded through my mind. What am I even doing here? Why am I receiving a world-class education? When will I be there-- with the poor? And, I find that usually... I know the answers to those questions. I know that God has asked me to be here, in the middle of wealth and privilege, because he's preparing me. He's molding my heart. He's sanctifying me. He's challenging me. He's purifying me.

I know that he is.

Over the last year, I've struggled with this passion of mine a lot. I've prayed through my motives and struggled through my fears. I've tried to figure out if this desire is just a desire for adventure and an aversion to America. But I don't think that's what it is...

I want to live with the poor. I want to love and serve them. I want my ministry to be my life. I want dirty children clinging to me... I want to teach them to cling to Jesus. I want to have a home open to all who are thirsty... all who are hungry... all who are in need of love. I want it to witness redemption everyday. My heart cries out... to be there, to love in that way.