The problem with not blogging for several weeks is forgetting that there are things worth blogging about.
I forget that I am learning things, that things are interesting and noteworthy and that I do have some things to share.
Blogging seems to act as an accountability partner for me. She asks me ever so often, "What have you been learning lately?" and lately, I pretend that I didn't hear the question. As my dad would say, me hago la gringa. I clear my throat and I look the other way, hoping that she'll pass me by.
It's so easy to go through my minutes, my days, my weeks-- and soon, my summer-- without stopping and really thinking about what I'm learning... what I have been learning. It's easy to go through the motions day in and day out and simply leave it at that-- going through the motions.
Don't get me wrong, I've thoroughly enjoyed this summer. I've enjoyed day in and day out. But in my quiet times, I've realized that I haven't paused to reflect. My mind is ready to move on to the next thing-- the next assignment to work on, the next quiz to submit, the next meal to make, the next, next, next-- that I hardly notice the now and I scarcely remember the yesterday.
I miss capturing moments in writing... living life twice so to speak. I love jotting down moments that make me pause or cause me to reflect upon something. I miss taking the time to blog... taking the time to remember that there are things worth writing about.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Transformed
Sometimes I really relate to biblical characters. I can relate to Moses' fear and Peter's impulsiveness. I can see myself in Thomas' doubt and in Job's confusion. I can relate.
And I see their raw human-ness and I breathe a sigh of relief. They aren't supernatural-- they simply aren't. I see Peter fail. I see Moses hesitate. I see Thomas doubt. I see Job question God. I'm not sure why, but these glimpses of their humanity are extremely comforting to me. It's almost as if I can relax because they too, were capable of failures... they too, sinned and doubted and feared. And then, I let my guard down. I rationalize and I allow myself to excuse my sin and doubt and fear. Well, everyone struggles with this, do they not? Surely, I'm entitled to struggle with sin and doubt and fear every once in a while, I tell myself.
But when I do that, I end these biblical stories too soon. I stop in the Gospels and never make it to Acts. I stop at the burning bush and never get to the exodus. You see, I often identify with Peter in many parts of Scripture, but never in Acts. He's been transformed into a bold and courageous man, willing to live and die for Christ. His boldness amazes me. Every time I read the story of Peter healing the crippled beggar in Jesus' name, I'm amazed. I know that God can and does heal people, but it's Peter's boldness that simply astounds me. I wonder, did Peter even wonder what would happen if Jesus didn't heal the beggar right then? Or did he, true to his good old self, jump right in, totally out on a limb, knowing that if Jesus didn't come through... he was done for.
Do I do that?
Do I jump in to things often enough? Do I have the thought, "If Jesus doesn't come through, then I'm done for?" often enough? Is my life explainable without the Holy Spirit? I don't want it to be. But is it?
I read in Acts about a man name Saul who relentlessly persecuted Christians. I read about his fierce desire to see them arrested and brought to Jerusalem. I wonder why. Why was he so set on persecuting them? And then, his life is severely interrupted one day when he was on his way to persecute Christians. I try to crawl into Saul's head... what was he thinking when Ananias approached him and said, "Brother Saul." Oh, it must have sounded like singing.
Not even a chapter later, we find Saul boldly preaching the Gospel in Damascus. Other believers are alarmed and need Barnabas to vouch for the genuinity of his transformation. Later on, we see that Saul's change was so radical that God even changed his name. And so then Paul went on to write two-thirds of the New Testament, to plant churches throughout Asia minor, to suffer and die for Christ. Oh, what a glorious transformation.
We cannot expect anything less than transformation when dealing with the Gospel. Anything less is behavior modification. Anything less is cheap grace; we are called to a lifestyle covered by costly grace. Grace that beckons us to come and die. I cannot excuse my struggles because I'm human. I must relentlessly pursue righteousness, striving to embrace the grace and the call for which Christ died for. I must desire transformation.
And I see their raw human-ness and I breathe a sigh of relief. They aren't supernatural-- they simply aren't. I see Peter fail. I see Moses hesitate. I see Thomas doubt. I see Job question God. I'm not sure why, but these glimpses of their humanity are extremely comforting to me. It's almost as if I can relax because they too, were capable of failures... they too, sinned and doubted and feared. And then, I let my guard down. I rationalize and I allow myself to excuse my sin and doubt and fear. Well, everyone struggles with this, do they not? Surely, I'm entitled to struggle with sin and doubt and fear every once in a while, I tell myself.
But when I do that, I end these biblical stories too soon. I stop in the Gospels and never make it to Acts. I stop at the burning bush and never get to the exodus. You see, I often identify with Peter in many parts of Scripture, but never in Acts. He's been transformed into a bold and courageous man, willing to live and die for Christ. His boldness amazes me. Every time I read the story of Peter healing the crippled beggar in Jesus' name, I'm amazed. I know that God can and does heal people, but it's Peter's boldness that simply astounds me. I wonder, did Peter even wonder what would happen if Jesus didn't heal the beggar right then? Or did he, true to his good old self, jump right in, totally out on a limb, knowing that if Jesus didn't come through... he was done for.
Do I do that?
Do I jump in to things often enough? Do I have the thought, "If Jesus doesn't come through, then I'm done for?" often enough? Is my life explainable without the Holy Spirit? I don't want it to be. But is it?
I read in Acts about a man name Saul who relentlessly persecuted Christians. I read about his fierce desire to see them arrested and brought to Jerusalem. I wonder why. Why was he so set on persecuting them? And then, his life is severely interrupted one day when he was on his way to persecute Christians. I try to crawl into Saul's head... what was he thinking when Ananias approached him and said, "Brother Saul." Oh, it must have sounded like singing.
Not even a chapter later, we find Saul boldly preaching the Gospel in Damascus. Other believers are alarmed and need Barnabas to vouch for the genuinity of his transformation. Later on, we see that Saul's change was so radical that God even changed his name. And so then Paul went on to write two-thirds of the New Testament, to plant churches throughout Asia minor, to suffer and die for Christ. Oh, what a glorious transformation.
We cannot expect anything less than transformation when dealing with the Gospel. Anything less is behavior modification. Anything less is cheap grace; we are called to a lifestyle covered by costly grace. Grace that beckons us to come and die. I cannot excuse my struggles because I'm human. I must relentlessly pursue righteousness, striving to embrace the grace and the call for which Christ died for. I must desire transformation.
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