Transformed

Sometimes I really relate to biblical characters. I can relate to Moses' fear and Peter's impulsiveness. I can see myself in Thomas' doubt and in Job's confusion. I can relate.

And I see their raw human-ness and I breathe a sigh of relief. They aren't supernatural-- they simply aren't. I see Peter fail. I see Moses hesitate. I see Thomas doubt. I see Job question God. I'm not sure why, but these glimpses of their humanity are extremely comforting to me. It's almost as if I can relax because they too, were capable of failures... they too, sinned and doubted and feared. And then, I let my guard down. I rationalize and I allow myself to excuse my sin and doubt and fear. Well, everyone struggles with this, do they not? Surely, I'm entitled to struggle with sin and doubt and fear every once in a while, I tell myself.

But when I do that, I end these biblical stories too soon. I stop in the Gospels and never make it to Acts. I stop at the burning bush and never get to the exodus. You see, I often identify with Peter in many parts of Scripture, but never in Acts. He's been transformed into a bold and courageous man, willing to live and die for Christ. His boldness amazes me. Every time I read the story of Peter healing the crippled beggar in Jesus' name, I'm amazed. I know that God can and does heal people, but it's Peter's boldness that simply astounds me. I wonder, did Peter even wonder what would happen if Jesus didn't heal the beggar right then? Or did he, true to his good old self, jump right in, totally out on a limb, knowing that if Jesus didn't come through... he was done for.

Do I do that?

Do I jump in to things often enough? Do I have the thought, "If Jesus doesn't come through, then I'm done for?" often enough? Is my life explainable without the Holy Spirit? I don't want it to be. But is it?

I read in Acts about a man name Saul who relentlessly persecuted Christians. I read about his fierce desire to see them arrested and brought to Jerusalem. I wonder why. Why was he so set on persecuting them? And then, his life is severely interrupted one day when he was on his way to persecute Christians. I try to crawl into Saul's head... what was he thinking when Ananias approached him and said, "Brother Saul." Oh, it must have sounded like singing.

Not even a chapter later, we find Saul boldly preaching the Gospel in Damascus. Other believers are alarmed and need Barnabas to vouch for the genuinity of his transformation. Later on, we see that Saul's change was so radical that God even changed his name. And so then Paul went on to write two-thirds of the New Testament, to plant churches throughout Asia minor, to suffer and die for Christ. Oh, what a glorious transformation.

We cannot expect anything less than transformation when dealing with the Gospel. Anything less is behavior modification. Anything less is cheap grace; we are called to a lifestyle covered by costly grace. Grace that beckons us to come and die. I cannot excuse my struggles because I'm human. I must relentlessly pursue righteousness, striving to embrace the grace and the call for which Christ died for. I must desire transformation.