Restlessnes... Better When

I will feel better once I get my work permit.

I'll definitely feel less lonely once I make friends here.

We'll be happier once we're plugged into a church.

My thoughts wander along these thoughts and many other similar ones... consistently. I find that this is a well-trodden path. Definitely not the path least traveled. I know I'm stuck in a season of much waiting and have plenty of extra time, and I know that moving to a new country and new city takes many, many long months of transition, and I know that getting plugged into a church takes time and I know that not having a job is simply something I cannot change. I know all of these things. I know them full well.

And though having a job, making friends and getting connected to the local community are all good things and will all be welcomed blessings, they cannot be the things that bring me joy and purpose. My ultimate joy and purpose come from the Lord, not my occupation. My joy and purpose come from Jesus, not my (lack of) social connections. My joy and purpose come from God, not my church community. 

The New Year is a time of many goals and anticipation as we look ahead, but lately, I feel that's all that I've been doing. I've been waiting for each new milestone, as if that one will bring more contentment. In no way am I trying to discourage New Year Resolutions or the beautiful gift of making goals and looking forward, but for me, right now, in this time, I need to look here. 

I need to see the beautiful gifts that Jesus has given me right here. Right now. I must  smile with gratitude every time Lucas comes home and his simple presence makes me burst into laughter. I must enjoy our beautiful home and find the ways to bless our community today. I have to choose to be thankful for Skype, Facebook, What'sApp and every other service that allows me to communicate with my friends and family  that live thousands of miles away... instead of being bitter about the distance.

I still have New Year Resolutions, believe me, I do. I'm too much of a goal-setter to drop them altogether... but I'm certainly looking forward to loving this season instead of waiting it out, hoping it'll be over soon.