I've been humbled over the last two months. Really humbled. I've come face-to-face with my own inability to get it done or to make it happen and have really had to step back and ask God, "Now, what are you thinking? What now?"
You see, Lucas and I are going to the Amazon in April. He'll be serving on a medical team, and quite honestly, I'm the least useful piece in the puzzle... but I'm sure I'll find a way to help through translating or getting odd jobs done. We'll be leaving about one month from today. We've been fundraising and trying to get our support in. And it has barely come in. Slowly.
In January, I just figured we needed more time. People had only just received our letters and the trip wasn't for several months, so maybe the idea of supporting the trip was simply put on the back-burner. I figured that once I talked to my family's home church, when we contacted Lucas' church and when we approached our current church's leadership, then the support would start streaming in. But sadly, we still find ourselves at four percent of our fundraising goal.
Looking back, the pride is so easy to see. I think back on previous mission trips I've served on, and remember how quickly the funds came in. I remember Lucas' trips to Kenya, and am also amazed by God's provision. I thought that fundraising for this trip would be "a breeze." You see, the entire trip only costs us $5,000. Of those $5,000, at least half is going to be used for medications and supplies and supporting others on the trip. So between two of us, with twice the network, I figured it'd be easy. Sadly, I admit that I didn't really pray for our fundraising process much. Wait, I lied. I didn't pray for it at all. I didn't have faith because I didn't think faith would be necessary.
And as we prepare for this trip, knowing that a hit of $5,000 will be hard on our finances at the moment, I am brought to my knees. I need Jesus to raise $200 or to raise $20,000. The amount being raised is really inconsequential; it doesn't matter. The faith behind it must be the same. I cannot assume that $5,000 will just "simply come." I'm getting ready to buy our plane tickets this next week and have been reminded over and over and over again in the last weeks of my deep need for Jesus.
Yup, I will never never outgrow that need.
You see, Lucas and I are going to the Amazon in April. He'll be serving on a medical team, and quite honestly, I'm the least useful piece in the puzzle... but I'm sure I'll find a way to help through translating or getting odd jobs done. We'll be leaving about one month from today. We've been fundraising and trying to get our support in. And it has barely come in. Slowly.
In January, I just figured we needed more time. People had only just received our letters and the trip wasn't for several months, so maybe the idea of supporting the trip was simply put on the back-burner. I figured that once I talked to my family's home church, when we contacted Lucas' church and when we approached our current church's leadership, then the support would start streaming in. But sadly, we still find ourselves at four percent of our fundraising goal.
Looking back, the pride is so easy to see. I think back on previous mission trips I've served on, and remember how quickly the funds came in. I remember Lucas' trips to Kenya, and am also amazed by God's provision. I thought that fundraising for this trip would be "a breeze." You see, the entire trip only costs us $5,000. Of those $5,000, at least half is going to be used for medications and supplies and supporting others on the trip. So between two of us, with twice the network, I figured it'd be easy. Sadly, I admit that I didn't really pray for our fundraising process much. Wait, I lied. I didn't pray for it at all. I didn't have faith because I didn't think faith would be necessary.
And as we prepare for this trip, knowing that a hit of $5,000 will be hard on our finances at the moment, I am brought to my knees. I need Jesus to raise $200 or to raise $20,000. The amount being raised is really inconsequential; it doesn't matter. The faith behind it must be the same. I cannot assume that $5,000 will just "simply come." I'm getting ready to buy our plane tickets this next week and have been reminded over and over and over again in the last weeks of my deep need for Jesus.
Yup, I will never never outgrow that need.
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