Frantic Panic Attacks

Exams are over.

Papers are all turned in.

The weather is great.

Summer is here.

I'm currently writing from Montreat, North Carolina. I can look out the window and see gorgeous trees and hills. Oh, the hills. How I had grown accustomed to the mid-western flatness... and how refreshing seeing hills and mountains has been.

I flew into Asheville yesterday to visit my brother for a couple of days. I only get to see him once or twice a year, so this will be the first time since January and probably the last until next January. I always love hanging out with him. He brings me so much joy; his friendship is unique and I'm constantly thankful that we have more than a friendship... God made us siblings.

We went kayaking this afternoon and as I walked down the road, carrying my kayak, I smiled and told him, "Ahh... now it feels like summer." Walking down the tree-covered road in flip flops with a kayak balancing off my shoulder, on our way to a lake... wonderful. I was determined to learn how to roll, but quite honestly, something about being attached to a boat underwater terrifies me. I panic quickly and begin to frantically flail my arms. No rolls can come about from this franticness.

We did a couple of T-rescues and then he ordered me to flip over and try a roll. My stomach tightened and I struggled to breathe well. I began stalling and I heard my voice switch into a whine quite quickly. Finally, I did it, and sure enough, I was frantically trying to get out of the boat, but was able to wait for his boat to help me out without wet-exiting. The water was freezing and I made a mental note of that, knowing I could use that as an excuse to stop soon.

He was an excellent teacher, but I was quite an awful student. After a major panic attack when I couldn't find his boat and then couldn't properly perform a T-rescue I decided to rest and later got back in the water to try a couple more times.

I still can't do a roll...

But maybe some day I will be able to :)

I'll be here 'till Tuesday and then I'm off to Colombia on Thursday...

Let the summer begin!